Lessons from Kairos

Written by Rev. Patrick Evans

      I just got back from a Kairos weekend. Kairos is a prison ministry that is often able to reach hardened inmates. One of the men that I spent the weekend with was a self confessed “gang banger”. (Let’s call him Bill) The term “bang” comes from being willing to shoot it out with rival gangs. As we spent the weekend, Bill had several questions about Christianity. From his questions you could tell he had spent some time considering what Christianity is about. His deepest questions dealt with his own experience of being confronted by changed lives. What Bill was speaking about was not “a jail-house Christianity”—to which he never considered being a part of—but authentic Christianity evidenced by transformed lives. Bill spoke of seeing hardened gang members attend a Kairos weekend and then walk away from the gang to never return—and never to return to jail. It confounded his mind.
      As we spoke about this, I could tell that Bill could not comprehend how a person could in one weekend accomplish such a transition. He also spoke of several members of the church inside the unit who had been attempting to reach him for years. One man in particular provided a steady witness. Bill had been watching the Christians for some time by now, and he observed one man who lived a Christian witness. Day in and day out he walked the walk. I later asked that man how he was able to reach men inside the unit. He said “I live the Christian walk.”
During the weekend, one of Bill’s friends walked by and said something in Spanish, about me. I asked, “What did he say?” Bill responded, “He is watching you.” We both laughed, but then Bill said, “He wants to know if you are the square deal.” I asked, “What does that mean?” Bill explained that ‘a square deal’ means to be on the level, not kidding. He then used it in context. He said if I want everyone to know I am serious I say, “This is the square deal”. In effect, I am not kidding. In a deep way we all want to know the person we are talking to is not kidding, either us or themselves.
      During the weekend we asked the inmates to define the characteristics of a Christian. They struggled with the question, until I asked them to remember a Christian they admired. That is, a Christian who “walks the walk”. We then discussed that such people are a witness. The attributes of a mature Christian are found in Galatians 5:22. They are listed as fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. A person with such attributes is an authentic evangelist. Their life is a witness that is attractive. The transformation of their life speaks effectively. As Bill said “they are the square deal”. For us living out side of the walls of the prison we must remember we are being watched as well. As we are being transformed into the likeness of Christ we must remember—our transformation is a witness of our risen Lord.

The Power of the Holy Spirit at Karios 

     After the "men in white" on the Polunsky Kairos walk # 19 were showered with special food, letters, cards, posters, decorated placemats that became cell posters, a prayer chain that encircled the gym, "forgiveness cookies" to share with someone they needed to forgive or seek forgiveness from, cookies of love each day, and the shower of unconditional love of Christ from the inside and outside Kairos team, the men in white responded with comments such as:

• I have never experienced love like this before!
• I am not alone- I have Christian brothers now.
• This has exceeded my expectations!
• I prayed one year ago for my heart to soften and God has granted my heart's desire.
• After reading the cards and letters, I cried like a baby.
• Thought I knew how to be a Christian- this was the most awesome experience ever!
• Received more letters today than in the last ten years in prison.
• All my family on the outside is gone. Now I have a new family on the inside- Brothers in Christ.
• Experience is overwhelming. Thought I wasn't chosen by God. Thankful for His timing. This has happened now for a reason. I am called to share God's love in the "yard."
• Overwhelmed by the power of God's love.
• Grateful God hadn't forgotten me. I am in prison, but I am free!
• Thankful for the "sacks of love" letters.
• God is real. He sent this experience to encourage me and give me hope.
• Tried for five years to get into Kairos. I have been searching for a family, now I have a family of Christian brothers on the inside.
• I am challenged to reach out to my Christian brothers in prison when they are down.
• No one can tell me now that God doesn't exist and doesn't love me.

    The power of prayer, a cookie, a piece of fruit, a fried chicken leg, a child's colored placemat, a note from a youth, a letter of unconditional love, The Holy Spirit, all combined this past weekend to move mountains in the lives of 42 men at the Polunsky maximum security prison in Livingston. If you had any part in our weekend, we thank you . We felt your prayers and were blessed, so we in turn could be a blessing to others in need. Thank you from our hearts.

    Your KUMC Polunsky Kairos #19 team:  Dave and Linda Andrus, Krisie Brown, Patrick Evans; John and Connie Fetzer; John Hensley, and Purvis and Lynn Harper

Written by Woody Barksdale

     This letter is an attempt for me to share the blessing I received from a Kairos Prison Ministry weekend on Oct. 19-22, 2006. Our teams from our church included: John Hensley, John Fetzer, Doug Chapman, Purvis and Lynn Harper and Chris Harrison.  I agreed to participate to help my friends John and Doug, but my motives were wrong because I didn’t think I would have much in common with the “men in white” or inmates at Polinsky Unit in Livingston, TX (the only maximum security, death row prison in TX). 500 of the 3,000 inmates were on death row.
     I went through training for Kairos weekend in the fall of 2005, but a guard was caught smuggling ammunition into the prison and we couldn’t get in due to a “lock down”. Seven years prior to that I didn’t get to participate in a prison ministry due to another “lock down”. Four of the six men in white at our discussion table admitted their offense as murder charges landed them in prison. One of the 42 in our Kairos participants was a “white supremacist”, another was a black gang leader, and another was a Hispanic gang leader. It was obvious to me that only a miracle from God could change their hearts as the closing ceremony for the weekend included these men hugging and crying on each other. One of our 6 was named Paul, who grew up picking cotton and didn’t attend school after the 6th grade. Paul stated profound phrases throughout the weekend like “mamma always said “What you practice at is what you good at.” Paul was a physical specimen from his lengthy workouts and strong as a bull. His statements were passionate, but often filled with anger. Once he stated, “It’s hard to receive the love you guys are giving us this weekend.” Paul ate so many homemade cookies on Friday that he had to take an antacid and told us on Sat. that he had to spend a lot of time “on the throne”, Friday evening!
     Logan was serving more than a 50 year sentence for murder and shared that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant at age 16, involved in drugs at 17 and convicted for murder at 17. Logan stared and smelled at a piece of bacon at breakfast one morning because he told me it had been 9 years since he had eaten any. I gave him my other piece! Another inmate shared it had been 5 years since he had eaten a strawberry!
Kenneth told me he had 7 children, a very long sentence for murder, and was used by his brothers to carry drugs at age 5. I was touched by this man’s comments about his conversation he was planning to share with his children on their next visit, to tell them about how God had touched his life on this Kairos weekend. Another “brother in white” hadn’t seen his son in 17 years (age 5-22). He sobbed, “Now I know what to tell my son when he comes to visit next month for the 1st time in 17 years. He had promised a visit.
     My favorite transformation was Lewis, age 60, and 9 more years to his sentence for murder. Lewis was very shy in front of people and didn’t speak much unless he was pressed. Lewis confessed he had signed up because he heard the food was good. During one moment of the weekend, Lewis prayed out loud: “Dear God, this is Lewis. I’m sorry it’s been so long since the last time I spoke to you. You know I’m kinda slow and it takes me 3-4 times to get it, but there is a wall between you and me and I promise I’m going to go around it or break it down this time. And God, it’s been a long time since my family has come to visit me and it hurts real bad since I love them so much. Could you please heal our relationships and tell them I love them? I promise it won’t be so long until the next time I talk to you. I love you, Amen.”
     Lewis promised he would start attending church services in prison, but shared that he thought it would be very difficult to be a Christian in prison. Lewis seemed very honest and real and wanted to “rebuild his life.”
     One of the brothers in white was a huge man. He could not read or write so one of the stewards or volunteers had to read his letter from our team and other inmates to him. He told me he had never felt love before this weekend!  Another brother in white couldn’t start reading his letters because of the tears flowing, since Shannon, a 2nd grader, had stamped her handprint in ink on the outside of his bag with the statement, “I hope what is in this bag help you to start your life over.”
     Apparently there had been a hunger strike on Death Row for 8 days. Our Kairos cookies (all 3,000 prisoners received 1 dozen homemade cookies) ended that hunger strike. Delivering the cookies on Death Row was very moving for me. Approximately 150 knew their execution date and were housed in a different section than the 350 who hadn’t received their date yet. The death row inmates were allowed 1 hour per day outside their cells to spend in a larger secured area.  The minimum security (G-1) area of the prison was referred to as the dorm and housed approximately 150 inmates in each of the 4 sections in this building.
     The music team that I was blessed to participate with were unbelievably talented! These men were strong believers and played music and sang for church services in prison. I was able to leave the songbooks my wife and I made for the weekend with the prison chaplain for those men to use in future gatherings along with some guitar picks.
     My prayer for these men is for God to continue to work in their lives as we learn that we are all sinners saved by grace and that Christians aren’t perfect, but we are forgiven! The brothers in white had the same feeling and thoughts that any of us experience. Their bad choices have taken away their freedom and all that was dear to them. But as one steward told me “for the first time in my life, I feel free. I didn’t have the strength to break away from the drugs and my peer group.”
     I concluded after this weekend that church sponsored programs have the best results in reform of their lives, and that we all came searching for something. I saw the love of Christ in my fellow man, and not our failures. This Kairos weekend humbled me to help me appreciate the many blessings God gives us everyday.
     The director of the volunteers for this weekend, John Hensley, stated, “Remember this moment. No one can ever take it away.” I am thankful to God for allowing me to be a part of leading others to know Him and help rebuild lives.

May God bless you,
Woody Barksdale

Thanks from your KUMC Polunsky #19 Kairos Team

     The outside Kairos team( kitchen, agape, cookie, chapel, runners/drivers) usually comes to the host church early on Sunday morning in work clothes, no make up, no showers( you know the UM Army early morning drill) to cook, send breakfast off into the unit, and then we clean the church, kitchen and trailer before we return to the hotel, shower and change clothes for church. After church we have lunch and go to the Kairos closing at the prison unit and drive home.
     This past Sunday, God had a different plan. We cooked breakfast sent it off to the unit and then God sent an angel of love to invite us to church "just as we were."The Emmaus leader of their church had insisted we attend their contemporary service in our work clothes regardless of our condition. I am not sure I have felt so loved and welcomed into a church service in a long time for just who I was. It was International Children's Sunday, and as the outside Kairos team sat in the Livingston UMC sanctuary in our dirty work clothes, no make up, no shower- we felt loved and accepted. As we sat in our pew over to the side( so not too many people would notice us) even though every pastor came over to thank us for our ministry to Polunsky, we looked at the altar and saw a cross made out of colored crayons. One of the most beautiful crosses I had ever seen. At first I thought it was stained glass in the sunlight, but then when I put my glasses on I realized they were individual crayons glued to a wooden cross. A cross of many colors- just like we are. The minister even quoted one of my, and his, favorite authors- Max Lucado and a story from one of his books about a daughter in South America who left her family to go to the city- Rio. The heartbroken mother follows her daughter to bring her home and takes small photos of her to tape up everywhere she can think of , on the chance her daughter might see it and read the back of the picture. Out of money, the mother has to return home to her village, without her daughter. After many weeks, the daughter finally spots her mother's photo on a mirror in a hotel and reads the back.

No matter what you've done,
No matter what you've become,
All is forgiven,
Please come home.

     It was an affirmation, along with the Scripture verse about being in prison from 2 Timothy, the sermon about prodigal children, songs they sang, and being welcomed "just as we were", that Jesus calls all His children to come to Him, no matter their condition and He will love them. It is great to be back home with our family at Kingwood UMC, but there are countless "lost children" behind bars in prison and behind bars of their own making who need God's love. I hope I will never forget to share God's love with everyone I meet, behind bars or out in the free world.
     Thank you all again for your prayers, your cookies (we re-counted, bagged, re-boxed, cut corners of the baggies and organized over 3,800 dozen cookies for the Kairos weekend), the Agape meal on Friday for the team, bringing the bar BQ meat that was left behind in the Tin Roof frig (Thanks Hank and Nancy Bray), for absolutely everything you did to help us reach out in love to the men in white in Polunsky this past weekend. You are awesome!

Your KUMC Kairos team:  Dave and Linda Andrus, Krisie Brown, Patrick Evans, John and Connie Fetzer, Lynn and Purvis Harper and John Hensley.

I Just Got To Let It Go

     “I just got to let it go.” It was a phrase a man kept repeating as he walked forward during a forgiveness service. The look in his eyes told me that it was important to him. It somehow struck him as amazing. In this one event he realized why he was at this Kairos weekend. I was not sure what part amazed him, but as a pastor I assured him; “yes, you do need to let it go.” Each time he said the phrase the meaning seemed to change. It moved from being a question “I just got to let it go?” to a realization, “I just got to let it go.” to finally a statement “I just got to let it go!” Then the last time he said it looked as though a realization hit him. It was beyond his own power to forgive. To which I assured him, “Give it to God”.
     The next morning Stephen said he really needed to talk with me. He had not slept all night, and I knew he really needed to talk. As we talked, he spoke of the wrong that had happened. A year before, his cell mate had attacked him in the middle of the night. Shortly after the incident, his cellmate had been moved to another part of the prison. Stephen said “I am a patient man, and I was waiting for my opportunity for some payback.” So for the past year Stephen had been working out, getting into shape and biding his time for revenge. Then the week before the Kairos weekend Stephen’s old cellmate was transferred right into the same tier as Stephen. The problem was that if Stephen got his revenge—right now—then he would not be able to attend Kairos and eat the great food we were offering, so he put it off and figured that on Monday his time would come.
     As we talked, Stephen realized that he had placed a great deal of importance on gaining revenge. He had become defined by his desire for revenge. His life had become consumed by revenge. Stephen seemed stunned that God knew him so well. He was amazed that he had been placed at this moment at this place to learn about forgiveness. We spoke for quite some time when Stephen made a confession. Following the forgiveness service we had given the men an extra dozen cookies to give as a peace offering to anyone they desired. Steven did not have the courage to give this man his cookies. He considered sending the cookies through a friend, but he realized that would not be sufficient.
     Stephen looked me in the eyes and said, “I must be the one to deliver the cookies and tell him that I forgive him.” I said, “You know that I can not tell you what you must do.” Yet I wanted to say “YES!” I could tell by the look in his eyes that he somehow knew that his road to freedom lay upon this path. His freedom from hate, and bitterness, and his freedom from his old life—it all was down this road. He knew the risk of following God. It was a path he had never chosen to walk, until now. Paul wrote in Philippians 3:7-8 “? But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ? What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”
     Stephen’s entire way of living was being challenged by God. His view of the world was being transformed. God was asking Stephen to let go of the most precious thing in his life. Revenge had become his reason for living. But now God’s love had replaced that reason and filled him with a more powerful passion. What is amazing is that what God asked for Stephen to give up was poison. Yet in the forgiveness of his cellmate Stephen provides a witness to the world of Christ’s redeeming love.